March 12, 2010

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." I John 4:7

It would be nice to be able to do a flying 360 slam dunk. But that's impossible for me.

How great would it be to play Michael Jordan one-on-one and whip him? That's not going to happen.

I would love to be able to play in the Master's Tournament at Augusta National next month. But it is an impossibility.

It would be a dream come true if I could play catcher for the New York Yankees for just one game. That will not happen.

I think it would be a rush to drive a NASCAR stock car for ten laps around Daytona, but that is impossible for me.

These are a few of many impossible dreams that have rattled around in cranium over the years. None of those will ever happen because I just don't possess the ability to accomplish any of them.

What does this have to do with anything? Where am I going with this?

As impossible as these scenarios are, they are no more impossible than fulfilling God's command to love my wife with an unconditional love. That is way above my capabilities. I have about as much chance of winning this year's Master's Tournament as I do loving Barbara with an unconditional love.

Here's the good news - "For nothing is impossible with God...."

Here's the good news - "love comes from God....."

What is impossible with me is possible with God. He never intended me to love Barbara with my own love. He expects me to respond to His love, to submit to it, to receive it, and to allow His love to flow through me.

I can never be a world-class athlete. I will never be able to peform at the highest level in any of the sports I enjoy. BUT I can be a world-class lover of my wife! I can be a godly husband who pleases God and meets the needs of my wife.

All of these dreams are equally impossible. But one of them IS attainable. Fortunately, that is the one that counts the most!

How about you? Are you chasing some impossible dreams? Why not focus on the one that God has called you to? Why not let Him love your spouse through you? Why not accomplish one impossible dream in your lifetime?

March 11, 2010

"Good understanding produces favor." Proverbs 13:15

Think about the things you love the most. One of things that is true of them is that the more you get to know and understand about them the more you love them.

I love Jesus. I have been walking with Him and learning of Him for over 50 years and as my understanding grows my love increases. I will never tire of loving Him.

I love the Word of God. I have read it for over 50 years and have studied it seriously for 40 years and the more I understand it the more it amazes me! I will never stop loving the Word.

I love the Church. I have been in a local church for 50 years and have led local churches for nearly 40 years. The more I learn of it and the better I understand its dynamics the more I love it. If I had another life I would gladly give it to serve the local church.

The first time I played golf I was a teen-ager and I knew very little about it. But it was love at first tee shot. From that first round I could not get enough of it. The more I played it and practiced it and understood it, the more I wanted to play it and practice it and master it! I hope there is golf in Heaven because I don't get enough time to play it here on earth!

Recently I was visiting in my home town in Indiana. I went to a high school basketball game where my beloved Warsaw Tigers were playing in a tournament game. Having been away from Indiana for awhile I forgot how intensely passionate Hoosiers are about their high school hoops. As I watched the 0ne reason they do is because they understand the game so well, they really know their basketball!

More importantly, the loved ones in my life grow more precious and appealing to me the more I get to know and understand them. That is especially true of Barbara. When I first met her I thought she was too good to be true. She couldn't actually be as wonderful as she seemed. I had to get to know her better and understand what makes her tick. So, I committed myself to that pursuit. Twenty three years later I am still discovering that she is as good as she seems. And, in fact, she is even better! The more I know her the more I want to know her!

How about you? Whom do you know that you want to know better? How much effort and energy are you devoting to understand your spouse better? How willing are you to be known?

Greater knowledge and understanding lead to deeper love. Be careful where you aim your heart and mind!

What will you do today to get to know your spouse better?

March 10, 2010

“You know me when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold O Lord, You know it all.” Psalm 139:2-4

The Psalmist wrapped his mind around the wonders of the intimate love of God. Understanding that the One Who knows us best loves us most is awe-inspiring, especially since there are things we don’t love about ourselves and are ashamed to admit to others. Such is the nature of unconditional love.

How good is this? How amazing is this love that fully knows us and yet fully accepts us! Can it get any better than this?

Actually – yes it can!

God, who knows us intimately and loves us completely wants us to share this love with a life-partner, a husband or a wife.

Because of God’s omnipotence, He knows exactly what He is getting into when He embraces us with His unconditional love. He opens His arms wide while having His eyes wide-open. But, we enter into this intimate marriage relationship unaware of all the baggage we are inheriting from the person we marry. No matter how long we courted them and no matter how well we thought we knew them there is nothing that can simulate the day-to-day challenges of sharing daily living with an imperfect but perfectly flawed person. God calls us to unconditionally love, accept, cherish, and nourish this relationship while each unpacks their baggage and airs their dirty laundry.

How can we love like this? How can we survive such intimate knowledge and scrutiny? I mean God can love us like this because He is……..well……God! But I am not and you are not and it takes love like His to get this done. How is it possible to unconditionally love someone who is not in the best condition? What if they put their complete trust in me and I fail them? What if I trust them completely and they break my heart. This sort of vulnerability is frightening! Maybe I don’t need to know someone else that much. Perhaps it isn’t wise to make myself completely known. It’s probably safer to just try and become what they think I should be or what they want me to be. I mean, my parents love me best and they know me best, but there are things I have hidden from them. If I don’t completely trust them, how can I know intimacy with a stranger from outside my family?

That is the natural human response to a supernaturally designed and inspired relationship. God calls us to this intimate life-sharing love because it is what we are created to do. We are created to be loved unconditionally by Him and to trust Him to love others unconditionally through us. Therefore, the more intimately we know His love, the more intimately we can extend His love to another!

Think about this and celebrate it! When you live and love intimately with God and with your spouse, you experience the love of God twice! You receive it directly from Him and indirectly from them!

How good does that sound?

What can you do today to more fully receive the unconditional love of God? Where do you need to come out of hiding? Where do you need to be completely honest? Where do you need to allow Him to shine light on a dark corner in your life? Will you receive unconditional love so you can live in intimacy with Him? Will you enter into to full and fearless love with the One Who knows you most yet loves you best?

March 9, 2010

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

Do you think your marriage has a prayer?

If that is all it has maybe that is exactly what it needs.

Have you ever tried to file a complaint about an incorrect bill or an inadequate service? If you are not careful you will end up admonishing a person who is too low on the chain of authority to satisfy your complaint. Unless you can get all the way to the top, your pleas will go unheeded, you will create ill will and you will become frustrated.

That has happened to me and I'll bet it has happened to you.

As I described that scenario it occured to me that it sounds a lot like some marriages. Have you ever nagged your spouse or been critital toward them? How did that work out for you?

If you want positive results you must "complain" to the right person.

That is our challenge today. When you have a problem with your spouse, take it to the top! Pray for them. Get God involved in their need. Ask Him to help your attitude first, then ask Him to graciously deal with your partner. I have found that many times after God adjusts my attitude, the problem either gets perspective or gets solved.

Have you prayed for your spouse today? Have you prayed with your spouse? Will you?

Go to the top before you hit bottom.

March 8, 2010

"In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God's unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]" I Peter 3:7 (Amplified Version)

I just returned from a 1,3oo mile round-trip trek for one reason - to honor one of the two women who have shaped my life - my mother. My traveling companion was my other significant woman, Barbara.

How have they impacted me? By loving me with a fierce and unconditional love. They have believe in me. They have prayed for me. They have sacrificed for me. They have challenged me and corrected me. They have stretched me and call the best out in me. They have inspired me by their faithful examples. They have shown me patience and grace.

Much of what I have learned about loving I have learned from them. My mother was the first to see some potential in me and Barbara still sees it.

The Scripture instructs us men to honor our wives. So why have I honored my mother? Simple, I learned how to honor my wife by first learning to honor my mother. I esteem them. I respect them. I cherish them. I fully recognize their value to me, but also to the world. Planet earth is a much better place because of who they are, how they live and how they love.

Both of these great women would be extraordinary people even if they had never known me. But I would not be anywhere near the person I am without them. I recognize their substantial worth and value to me and I treat them accordingly. Because they are so honorable it is easy to honor them.

What did you do today to give honor to your spouse? What will you do tomorrow? Will you set aside a few minutes and meditate on how much your spouse means to you and how they have enriched your life. As you remember all the honorable traits your spouse possesses, stop and thank God for them. And then honor them by humbly sharing the reasons why you value that spouse as much as you do.

And remember, probably the best way to honor your spouse is to be honorable! That is a good starting point!

March 7, 2010

"Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life." Ecclesiates 9:9

For several years I made a living as a salesman. I had to convince people that that sleek, shiny, and powerful piece of metal was well worth tens of thousands of their hard earned dollars. Not many people make a decision like that purely based on logic. I had to appeal to their emotions and help them believe that it made sense. The last thing I wanted was for them to make a logical decision. My job was to get them to lead with their heart and not their head.

Emotions are powerful. Everyone loves to feel good. But emotions are also unreliable and can easily lead you astray. Not everything you want to do you should do. And there are things you don't feel like doing that you must do.

I can only speak for myself but the times I have made poor decisions were the times when I led with my heart. While I was following my feelings there was a red flag waving in the back of my mind.

Life is so much better when you learn to let your head lead your heart. Ironically, you will feel better for longer! Not only will you feel better because of the decision you make you will feel better about the decision.

When it comes to love and marriage, you cannot be guided by your heart. But unfortunately, many are. Everything is aimed at your heart. All the music and all the media says, "Follow your heart." It sounds good. It seems to make sense. That is, until you try it. When you do buy into that line of reasoning you are cruisin' for some losin'!

 

The Bible tells us not the follow our heart but rather to lead our heart. How do we lead our heart? We lead our heart by thinking and acting according to God's Word. We let our thoughts guide our feelings. We "faith it" until we "feel it".

 

Choose to love your spouse with abandon. Fully commit to it. Do loving things and dwell on loving thoughts. Guard your heart and guide your heart according to Biblical principles. Delight yourself in loving your spouse and thank God continually for her.

 

If you have not been in the habit of doing this, will you try it today? Do something to demonstrate how you love and cherish her? What will that be?

March 6, 2010

“If a house is divided against itself that house will not be able to stand” Mark 3:25

You hear it at every wedding and you see it in the Bible and it sounds so wonderful – this thing about “two becoming one”.

How does that happen? That defies any mathematical formula known to man!

Obviously it is talking about unity.

You may think, “Well, if she would just agree with me all the time then we could get along!”

She might think the same thing. One thing is for sure, you can’t agree with one another all the time so how do you achieve unity when two people don’t always see things the same? How do you get it right when only one of you can be right?

To achieve unity and oneness in a marriage you have to learn to fight right and disagree agreeably.

Some of my best friends in ministry are guys that I have had heated disagreements with but because we both love God and we both loved the ministry and we loved each other, we fought through the issue in a godly way and learned to know and love each other even more.

That is what God wants for marriage. And your best chance at learning to fight right is to first learn what is right and fight for that. But how do I know what is right for my marriage? Ask God.

The key to fighting right is to learn what God says is right for your marriage and fight for that. That means that if my idea or my desire does not line up with what God’s Word says is best for my marriage then I give that up for the good of the relationship.

Several things that NEVER work and should be out of bounds in a fight:

1) Never drag up things from the past
2) Never resort to name calling
3) Never raise your voice
4) Never withhold sex as a weapon

You and your spouse should set down and establish rules for how to fight right. Use the Bible as your rulebook.

What will you do today to help you fight right? Will you fight through your disagreements and fight your way to a better marriage?