"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." Romans 12:14-16
Giving grace and getting rid of grudges is a big first step to finding peace. You cannot have spiritual peace while you are holding onto resentment or hostility. The two are incompatible.
Only if you are living as a holy sacrifice surrendered to God and filled with His Spirit will you be able to be a grace giver. Only those who have been transformed by grace are able to grace others.
The second step to finding peace is the ability to empathize with the emotions of others.
What does this have to do with peace?
Empathy is the ability to enter into the feelings of others. It cares how others feel and desires to celebrate the positive emotions while consoling the painful ones.
Again, it is a test of love. It shows that you love another person well enough to set aside your own emotional needs to respond to the emotional needs of others. Such an unselfish love is not natural, it is supernatural. It is the love Jesus demonstrates for you and me!
Such love shows that you are at ease with your own emotional state - at peace with yourself. That allows you to enter into the joys and sufferings of others.
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin." Hebrews 4:15
Jesus is able to know how hard life is and how much it can hurt because He lived life and faced the temptations of life - EVERY ONE - so that He can identify exactly with what you are feeling in any difficulty trial of life.
Why would He love like that? Why would He willing suffer as He did? Why would he relive that pain by identifying with others' pain?
It is because God loves like that! And because He loved God and God's love was perfected in Him, Jesus loves like that.
So, if God's love is active in your life you will love in the same way He loves. You will genuinely rejoice in their joys and sincerely share their sorrows.
Extending grace to others. Empathizing with others. Those are two big steps to inner peace and to developing peace in a fellowship.
Are you a peacemaker? Are you able to give to others the very emotional support you desire for yourself?