Tuesday, October 13, 2015

October 14, 2015

If you never hear another of my sermons make sure you don’t miss this Sunday’s message! This will be one of the most practical and helpful messages I have shared about parenting. I will challenge you with three courageous decisions facing parents who wish to Raise Home Run Kids. Yesterday I posted the first courageous decision: To Guide Your Child’s Heart.

Today I share the second courageous decision: Don’t Carry Your Kid’s Load.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.Galatians 6:2-5

The apparent contradiction – “carry each other’s burden – BUT – carry own load” – WHAT?

Here’s the answer:

Both of these words in the Greek are shipping terms……

“LOAD” = THE SHIP’S CAPACITY
“BURDEN” = A SHIP OVERLOADED

A ship is usually loaded to its capacity. When it is filled to its capacity a ship can carry its load. But if it is overloaded or if the load shifts it is endangered on the sea. It will send out a distress signal and the nearest ship will come alongside to help relieve its burden.

You have a load to carry, I have a load to carry, you are not called to carry my load nor am I called to carry your load. But occasionally you get overloaded and I need to come along side and help carry your burden. You are to do the same for me!

This is what you are called to do for your kid and his parent. You are NOT to carry his load but you SHOULD be available to come along side in those rare times he may be overloaded.

A KEY ROLE OF A PARENT IS TO WORK WITH GOD TO INCREASE YOUR KID’S CAPACITY FOR CARRYING THE LOAD OF HIS LIFE. THAT TAKES COURAGE BECAUSE THE HEART OF A PARENT WANTS TO CARRY THAT LOAD FOR YOUR KID.

CAPACITY IS INCREASED BY THE CHALLENGES LIFE BRINGS!

Maturity = increasing your capacity for load carrying

ATTENTION KIDS: You may want your parents to carry your load but you shouldn’t expect them to. If you allow your parents to “rescue you” and carry your load you will hurt yourself by remaining dependent upon them. What comforts you now will only cripple you later.
  • JOB/CAREER – If you can’t carry your work load in your workplace during your career you will lose your job!
  • RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE - If you don't carry your own load in a relationship you will not have a healthy relationship!
  • SPIRITUALITY/CHURCH - If you don't carry your load God won't be able to use you or cause you to grow!
LEARN TO CARRY YOUR OWN LOAD!

You may be wondering, what is my load? What is my kid’s load?

INFANT STAGE

Parent’s Load – To create an environment of love, security and a
Kid’s Load – To be loved, blessed and secure

TODDLER/PRESCHOOL

Parent’s Load – To create a climate of consequence
Kid’s Load – To learn respect and obedience

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL YEARS

Parent’s Load – To create an environment of personal responsibility and achievement.
Kid’s Load – To manage increasingly complex calendar, workload and relationships

Examples:
·         Who is responsible to make sure your kid gets to the bus stop on time in the morning?
·         Who is responsible to make sure homework assignments and deadlines are clear?
·         Who is responsible to complete homework assignments on time as assigned?

Key Question From Parent To Kid – What are you going to do about it?

TEEN YEARS

Parent’s Load – To create an environment of openness and acceptance.
Kid’s Load – To develop a healthy identity larger than the family.

Parents, if you do the previous stages well this stage can be a joy, if not and if you have to play catch up this stage will be difficult.

YOUNG ADULT YEARS AND BEYOND

Parent’s Load – To create an environment of honor
Kid’s Load – To set a healthy trajectory for life

It is during these years your kid will make the three major life decisions

MASTER – Who will I serve?
MISSION – What will I do with my life?
MATE – Who will I share my life with?

What stage of life does your kid find himself right now?

What courageous decision(s) must you make?


October 13, 2015

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.Proverbs 4:23

There is the old story about the strong-willed boy who was acting up and was told by his mother to go sit in the corner. When he ignored her his father stood and sternly commanded him to the corner. As he begrudgingly made his way to place of his punishment he muttered under his breather, “I’m may be sitting down on the outside but I’m standing up on the inside!”

Humorous as that may be it illustrates the truth of my first point for the final message on Raising Home Run Kids, GUIDE YOUR KID’S HEART.

It’s good to be mindful that bringing your kid’s behavior into compliance or conformity with your demand is one thing but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have dented his will.

Courageous parenting is not just correcting his behavioral while he is under your roof but it is capturing his heart so he will be able to control his behavior after he leaves.

What are some ways to capture his heart while you correct his behavior?

You can pray together with him.

This is a home plate issue. You can teach him to connect with God through prayer. By praying with him you can hear his heart and get to know him better. By praying with him he will get to hear your heart and get to know you better. At some point you can lead him in the sinner’s prayer so he can give his heart to Jesus. The best way to guide his heart is to put it under the control of the Holy Spirit.

You can praise together with him.

This is a first base issue. You can teach him to recognize God’s goodness and grace in His life and give praise to God regularly. You can let him hear your expressions of praise and thanksgiving to God. You can make sure you get your family to church so he can learn to worship and praise with you and your church family.

You can play together with him.

This is a second base issue. Spending time with him on the lake fishing, or in the woods hunting, or in the back yard playing catch, or hiking together can create a closeness that opens lines of communication. Unguarded moments lead to deeper insights into his heart and mind. Those moments are invaluable and instructive. It also breaks down some his defenses and allows him to hear you at a more intimate level.

You can plan together with him.

This is a third base issue. Teaching him to order his time, set his schedule and establish priorities is a very practical way of shaping his behavior and capturing his heart. Knowing what is right and what is best is a huge help in doing what is right! Learning effective planning is a life-long lesson!

I hope you will find these suggestions helpful as you work to have your kid sitting on the inside while he sits on the outside. Capturing his heart as you correct his behavior is a massive head start in building a successful satisfying life!

What do you need to stop doing to guide your kid better?

What do you need to keep doing to guide your kid better?

What do you need to start doing to guide your kid better?