“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your
Father will not forgive your sins” Matthew 6:14-15
You will never fully enter into
your freedom in Christ until you learn the freedom of forgiveness.
Someone has said, “Jesus is telling us that there is a vital
link between the way you treat other people and the way God in heaven is going
to treat you. Let’s face it. We don’t like that. On one level we tend to think
it would be good if we could hate someone for what they did to us and still
have the blessings of God, still be filled with the Spirit, still walk in joy
every day, still radiate the love of Jesus, and still have our prayers
answered. We’d much prefer if we could just have our relationship with God
insulated and encapsulated so we could treat other people any way we like.
Jesus says, “No deal. You can’t have it that way.” Unless you forgive you will
not be forgiven. This is a hard word, isn’t it? But it is a hard word of grace.”
How do we know when we have truly forgiven?
What does forgiveness look like?
Here are a few helpful guidelines (taken
partly from Kendall and also from a list by the Puritan author Thomas Watson,
as supplied by Waylon Moore):
1. Face what they did and forgive them anyway.
2. Don’t keep bringing it up to them.
3. Don’t talk about it to others.
4. Show mercy instead of judgment.
5. Refuse to speak evil of others.
6. Choose not to dwell on it.
7. Pray for them.
8. Ask God to bless them.
9. Do not rejoice at their calamities.
10. Help them when you can.
Augustine called this text “a terrible petition.” He pointed out
that if you pray these words while harboring an unforgiving spirit, you are
actually asking God not to forgive you. Ponder that for a moment. If you pray
“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” while refusing to forgive
those who have wronged you, this prayer which is meant to be a blessing becomes
a self-inflicted curse. In that case you are really saying, “O God, since I
have not forgiven my brother, please do not forgive me.” That is why Charles
Haddon Spurgeon, the great English preacher, said that if you pray the Lord’s
Prayer with an unforgiving spirit, you have virtually signed your own “death-warrant.”
During one period of his life, John Wesley was a missionary in
the American colonies—primarily in the area that would become the state of
Georgia. There was a general by the name of Oglethorpe with whom Wesley had
some dealings. General Oglethorpe was a great military leader, but he had a
reputation as a harsh and brutal man. One day he said to John Wesley, “I never
forgive.” To which Wesley replied, “Then, sir, I hope you never sin.”
You have been released from your sins by the grace of God in Jesus Christ.
You must be willing to release those who have sinned against you.
If you will choose to give grace and not hold grudges you will experience the joy and freedom God longs to flood your soul with.
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