The Key To Fighting Right

“If a house is divided against itself that house will not be able to stand” Mark 3:25

You hear it at every wedding and you see it in the Bible and it sounds so wonderful – this thing about “two becoming one”.

How does that happen? It defies any mathematical formula known to man!

Obviously it is talking about unity.

You may think, “Well, if she would just agree with me all the time then we could get along!”

She might think the same thing. One thing is for sure, you can’t agree with one another all the time so how do you achieve unity when two people don’t always see things the same? How do you get it right when only one of you can be right?

To achieve unity and oneness in a marriage you have to learn to fight right and disagree agreeably.

Some of my best friends in ministry are guys that I have had heated disagreements with but because we both love God and we both loved the ministry and we loved each other, we fought through the issue in a godly way and learned to know and love each other even more.

That is what God wants for marriage. And your best chance at learning to fight right is to first learn what is right and fight for that. But how do I know what is right for my marriage? Ask God.

The key to fighting right is to learn what God says is right for your marriage and fight for that. That means that if my idea or my desire does not line up with what God’s Word says is best for my marriage then I give that up for the good of the relationship.

Several things that NEVER work and should be out of bounds in a fight:

1) Never drag up things from the past

2) Never resort to name calling

3) Never raise your voice

4) Never withhold sex as a weapon

You and your spouse should set down and establish rules for how to fight right. Use the Bible as your rule book.

What will you do today to help you fight right? 

Will you fight through your disagreements and fight your way to a better marriage?

August 28, 2018

"Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." Genesis 3:13

One of the first popular game shows in America was called "Truth or Consequences". It premiered on the radio in 1940 and continued on TV until the late '80's. That is a long run!

Any show that can make the transition from radio to TV has to be intriguing!

"Truth or Consequences" was the show that first made Bob Barker famous and led to his long career as host of "The Price Is Right".

One more bit of trivia about the show before I attempt to make a point. Truth or Consequences, New Mexico derived its name from the game show. Original host, the great Ralph Edwards, once promised on the air that he would host a show from any town that would take the name of the show as the moniker for their city. Hot Springs, New Mexico took him up on the dare. They changed their name and he did the show!

Perhaps the reason for the show's popularity was its simplicity. A contestant was given trivia question to answer and if they could not answer the question they would be assigned a stunt to do. Most questions were so obscure that they could not be answered and the consequences would be endured. After awhile contestants began missing on purpose just to do the stunts.

What does this have to do with us?

Adam and Eve erred from the truth and we are suffering the consequences. Boy, are we!

The plight of the human race has become like a non-stop game of truth and consequences. Except it stopped being funny long ago and the consequences are eternal.

Due to the deliberate rebellious decision by Adam and Eve, our judgment has become permanently flawed. We have trouble recognizing the truth and it is easy for us to believe a lie. And worse, it is not just lies that we believe, it is THE LIE. What is THE LIE? It is the thought that we can be like God. It is pride in its worst form. It is Independence run amok. It is a perverse fantasy of being able to sin without any consequences.

Here's the good news! Jesus, Who IS the Truth also took our consequences! Believe that! Receive that! Exchange your fantasy for a faith-based relationship with Jesus. Confess your sinfulness, repent of your pride, and humble yourself to the Truth!

It is no game. Let Him show you what He can do!

August 27, 2018

"And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!" Philippians 2:8

What a crazy way to save the world! Crazy amazing that is!

It looked hopelessly impossible. Here is a Holy God separated from His beloved creatures by their sins. They would always be sinful and He would always be holy. Man could no more change his nature than God could His!

God longed for fellowship with man. Man needed fellowship with God. Man had tried to become like God - that didn't work too well! In fact, that is what created the problem! So, what was to be done?

If the guilty cannot become innocent, could the innocent become guilty? And if He could, would He? And if He would, why would He?

Jesus answered that question. He stepped up to resolve the dilemma. And Paul writes about here in Philippians 2. It is an idea only God could conceive and only Christ could execute. Perhaps Paul is the only one who could explain it.

Man couldn't reach up to God so God "morphed" down to man and Jesus was the result. Through the mystery of the "hypostasis" God was poured into man and a Savior was born! The perfect solution to a perplexing problem - a Being born Who was 100% God and 100% man. Just what God needed! The only hope for men!

How ironic that man became spiritually lost in the attempt to become God and the solution was found in God becoming a man! Mankind fell in his attempt to be God. Man was redeemed by One who surrendered His Godly privilege and humbly put on flesh. The One Who is life, the One Who breathed life into the nostrils of Adam, came in the flesh to suffer and to obediently lay down His life.

God did what He did because only He could do it! He did it in a way that only He could imagine. And He did for a reason that only He can comprehend.

So what are we to do with this amazing news? How are we to respond to this incredible offer? Why did He make sure Paul explained this spiritual truth in such detail? What does He expect or require of us?

He asks us to respond in kind - to humble ourselves as He did. To receive His righteousness we must confess our sinfulness. We must receive His holiness and repent of our selfishness.

Christ became like us to provide a way for us to become like Him! What we longed for and lost, He gave up to gain!

August 26, 2018

"In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." "How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!" Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." John 3:3-8

A preacher was once preaching about Heaven and he was good! Passionately and eloquently he elaborated on the golden streets and the pearly gates and the angelic choir and the crystal sea and the river of life and the throne of God and the eternal bliss! He was on a roll and he had the congregation in a frenzy. (Of course, if you can't get people excited about Heaven you're not much of a preacher).

At the conclusion of this stem-winder he asked for a show of hands for everyone who wanted to go to Heaven. Well, every hand in the place shot high in the air - except for one. The preacher was momentarily thrown by this but figured the man must not have heard the question. So he repeated in louder and engendered the same response - all hands except this one fellow.

The preacher was curious now so he called this guy out, "Sir, I see you are the only one who doesn't want to go Heaven. Can you tell this congregation why that is?"

"Well, preacher," the man responded, "I definitely want to go to Heaven! But it sounded like you were trying to get a group together to go today and I can wait for later!"

That is what I have found about Heaven - everyone wants to go, they just don't want to go today! You can add me to that number!

It is like the Indian scout that came back to General Custer on that fateful day. He reported to the General, "I have 'em bad news and I have 'em some good news."

"Give me the bad news first," Instructed Custer.

"As far as I can see to east there are Indians. As far as I can see to the north there are Indians. I look to the west and all I can see is an Indian war party. When I looked to the south - nothing but Indian braves!"

"Wow, that IS bad news," moaned the General.

"What's the good news?"

"You won't have to go back through Nebraska!"

Heaven has some real good news and a little bit of bad news.

The good news is that it will be an amazingly beautiful place of peace and joy and fulfillment. There will be no more pain and suffering. There will be no sin or evil. We will get to see God and we will get to see Jesus and we can fellowship with all the great saints of the ages. We will get to be with loved ones and there will be no more good-byes. And that is just a short list!

The bad news is we have to go through death to get there.

But when Nicodemus came to Jesus to find out about Heaven Jesus didn't talk to him of death, He taught him about birth. A second birth. A spiritual rebirth that has to happen in order to be prepared for Heaven.

God's Kingdom is a spiritual Kingdom. Flesh and blood cannot enter it. Especially sinful flesh and blood.

You and I are born into this world as sinful fallen creatures by virtue of our human nature which was corrupted by Adam. So, we come into this world spiritually separated from God, Who is holy. Jesus is telling Nicodemus that the reason he can't understand these spiritual truths Jesus is teaching is because his spirit is dead and unresponsive to God. God is a Spirit.

That is why sin is wrong. Sin doesn't threaten God or lessen God. Sin saddens God because it keeps us separated from Him and He desires fellowship.

Being "born again" requires a decision to turn away from our sinful desires and turn to Christ. When you turn to Christ and trust Him to be your Savior the Spirit of God enters your spirit and brings it to life. Your spirit lives because it is connected to the One Who is the source of Life.

"Born of water" refers to your physical birth. But "born of the spirit" means a spiritual rebirth is required to bring you into His Kingdom. Once you are "born again" you can live in relationship with God and He can begin the process of transforming your heart and your mind into the image of Christ.

Don't die unless you have been born - again!

August 25, 2018

"Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him." John 3:1-2

As a man, I hate to ask for directions. I am not exactly sure why that is. A little research threw a little light on the query. Here is one person's theory:

"It is important to understand that men are NEVER "lost." To him, that implies a helplessness that he will never willingly experience. He simply hasn't gotten there yet and he has complete faith in his ability to do so.

Also, a man's unwillingness to stop and ask for directions is consistent with his survival instincts and actually not stubborn at all. First, the act of stopping the car, and rolling down the window, makes him (and you) more vulnerable than he is willing to be just to get some place faster.

Second, from a man's point-of-view, the moment he asks a gas station attendant, or someone on the street, for directions, he has put his life and yours in the hands of a stranger! Men, wisely, only put their lives in the hands of people who have proven themselves trustworthy. The way he sees it, you are both better off searching for your location yourselves than being at the mercy of the judgment of someone he doesn't know and trust." Alison Armstrong

That sounds good to me!

Mind you it is one thing to be unsure of your location in your SUV on a country road somewhere and quite another to be totally clueless about your eternal destination. You can recover from being temporarily lost but when you are lost for eternity - IT IS OVER!

I give Nicodemus a great deal of credit. He was a proud man and a very religious man. His entire life had been devoted to studying the Law and the Prophets. This man was a knowledgeable in all 632 Levitical regulations and all their applications. All the people he hung out with were just like him in terms of knowledge and expertise. But Nicodemus was different in a very important and admirable way. He knew he was lost and wasn't afraid to asking for directions.

He knew enough about religious to recognize that religion is not enough! He understood that it is not WHAT you know but it is WHO you know.

Let me ask you, "If you were to die tonight do you know for sure you would go directly to Heaven to be with God eternally?"

I am not asking you, "Are you religious?" Nicodemus was religious but he also recognized he was spiritually lost - eternally lost! He had an urgency to do something about that. You should have an urgency about that as well!

As you read this and as you, like Nicodemus, honestly recognize that you are unsure about your eternal destination will you face it with the same sense of urgency he did? And will you do what he did? Will you look to Jesus for the directions to get to Heaven? Will you humble yourself to accept His Way? That would be wise since He IS "the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father except through Him."

Secret Service Saints

"His lord said to him, Well done, good and true servant: you have been true in a small thing, I will give you control over great things: take your part in the joy of your lord." Matthew 25:23

This is the age of the 24/7, 365 news cycle so everyone is looking for the next big personality and the next spectacular story. It is understandable in a medium that must draw ratings to survive (unless you are CNN or MSNBC).

But often lost in this are the people who really make America work and who are the genius of America's greatness. These are the millions who do the right things for the right reasons every day. Their faithfulness in the "small things" form the backbone of our culture. Maybe they are unnoticed by the mass media but not by the people who benefit from their dependability.

Perhaps you are one of these dependable "go to" people and wonder if anyone notices or who cares. If you are wondering whether it is worth it I have good news for you! According to our verse for this morning, God notices small things done well! (He also keeps track of the things done wrong!)

The Bible is replete with stories of "back bench" people who just showed up every day and did small things well.

My favorite is Andrew. He was one of the disciples who didn't get much notice but the few times he shows up in the New Testament he is bringing someone to Jesus.

It was Andrew who brought his brother, Peter to Jesus. Peter became an essential player in the establishment of the Church. It was Andrew who brought the little lad with the lunch to Jesus. Five loaves of bread and two fish - a simple lunch and a small act of generosity "hooked up" by Andrew. Remember how that turned out? Miraculous!

Over 46 years of serving in local churches I have developed a profound appreciation for those servants who labor in obscurity doing those tasks that no one else wants to do but are essential to the function of the church. While most never get the notoriety they deserve, Jesus notices and He keeps track. Without those choice servants there would be no great churches like North Point or Twelve Stone or First Baptist in the Atlanta area, or Spotswood or Life Point- or New Life in our region. Apart from those scores of unheralded heroes no one would have heard of  or Kevin Myers, or Charles Stanley, or Andy Stanley, or Drew Landry, or Daniel Floyd or Mike Hilson - or, you name it.......

Think about it, some unknown person changed Charles Stanley's diaper in a church nursery somewhere in Southern Virginia. Someone told Bible stories to Rick Warren and helped him fall in love with Jesus. You have no idea what God will do in the lives of those you care for or teach Sunday after Sunday that you sacrifice your opportunity for worship in order to minister to them.

Here's what I know about faithful servants in a local church. The secret service saints ministering in the shadows do more to make churches great and pastors successful than the other way around. So, here is my tribute to those of you who serve!

I love you! I appreciate you! I know the value of what you do! And to a much greater extent - so does God!

August 23, 2018

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." James 4:1-3

A rather cranky old grandfather was taking a nap one afternoon when his mischievous grandsons carefully smeared some Limburger cheese in his mustache. It wasn't long until stench woke him up. Sitting up with a start he exclaimed, "My gosh! It stinks in here!"

Retreating to the next room he said again, "It stinks in here, too!"

The same happened in the next room and the next causing him to blurt out, "The whole house stinks!"

Running outside to catch fresh air he found no relief to which he complained, "The whole world stinks!"

Have you ever felt like the whole world stinks?

Does discontent and trouble you seem to follow wherever you go?

Maybe it is just a lousy world you live in. Maybe not.

James informs us that the main problem with your world is the rotten smelly stuff going on in you! And trouble follows you because you ARE the trouble and wherever you go - well - there you are! The one person you can never escape is you!

He said that, not me! I'm just the messenger!

The problem seems to be desires that are at conflict within you. You want what you don't have or can't have and you despise what you do have. Pretty miserable.

Remember that James is written to Christians. So, the desires that were at war within them were their sinful desires versus the will of God. That serves to remind you that you cannot be at war with God and have inner peace.

Earlier in his book, James comments on this same problem using another metaphor. "That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:7-8

Does that describe you? Is that the turmoil raging in you?

If you have two natures warring within you, one of them has to win and one of them has to lose. God doesn't send His Spirit into your life to be a room mate. When you receive Christ as your Savior He comes in with the plan of becoming your Lord! He won't settle for less.

Christians can be the most miserable of all because they possess the two natures. Non-Christians just sin and don't worry about it because their conscience is dead and they are just doing what comes naturally. But once Christ becomes your Savior and the Spirit is activated in your life, the fight is on! His Spirit wars against your flesh. Someone has to surrender!

Think about it. If you are at war with God, who will ultimately win? Who should win?

If God will win and if He should win why are you fighting a losing battle? 

When will you surrender? 

When will you declare Him Lord?