January 1, 2017

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

God's Word from the Prophet Isaiah for the New Year is this, "God wants to do a new thing!"

Would you like something new from God in 2017? You cannot get something new from God if you are dwelling in the past.

For 2017 I urge you to let go of your grudge(s) and take hold of God's grace! 

"How does that happen?" you ask.

Here's a three step plan to let go of your past so you can embrace your future:

1) Forgive

2) Factor

3) Focus

FORGIVE

Forgiving is the key to letting go of your past. Forgiveness is a decision between two options. You can choose to offer grace (forgiveness) or you can hold a grudge.

Choosing to forgive sets the offender free but also releases you to begin healing. Choosing to hold a grudge will hold you captive to bitterness and pain.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to forget the offense nor does it mean you must put yourself back into a place to be hurt again. It does mean that every time you think of the offense you choose to continue forgiving that offense. That's what it means to be a grace-giver! Every time you are tempted to hold a grudge you instead choose to extend grace.

I believe that is precisely what Jesus meant when He told the disciples to forgive "70 times 7". He didn't mean they had to forgive 490 separate times, what He was teaching them was to forgive once and choose to offer grace at each remembrance of that person or his offense.

Forgiveness is necessary for other reasons:

• You will need to be forgiven
• You have been forgive before
• You need God's forgiveness and if you don't forgive you aren't able to receive forgiveness
• God has more good things He wants to give you and blessings to offer grace-givers.

Are giving grace or are you holding grudges?

FACTOR

Grace-givers are also learners. Every time they remember the offense or the offender they factor their involvement in the situation. They ask, "What should I learn about myself in this instance?" "How did I contribute to the painful outcome?" "What should I have done differently?" "What will I do differently if I am in a similar situation again?" "How does this help me understand the offender better?" "What does God want to teach me from this?" "Have I forgiven myself for the poor decisions I made?"

When Paul wrote to the Romans, "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes." Romans 8:28

Can I understand how things are working together for good if I am not in touch with was was bad, what was wrong and how does God want to use this to help me grow?

If you don't learn from your mistakes or the mistakes of others you are doomed to repeat those mistakes and be stuck in bad places. Pain is a terrible thing to waste. Process your pain so you can turn it to gain.

Are you learning from your pain?

FOCUS

Once you have offered forgiveness and processed your pain you are free to focus on the future God has in mind for you!

You can't move forward if your focus is fixed on your past anymore than you can drive your car safely forward while you are staring at your rear-view mirror!

Isaiah promises that God wants to do a new thing in your life! He wants to make a way through your wilderness! He wants to give you refreshing in the dry, desert-like periods of your life.

Expect God to do a fresh new work in your heart and in your spirit! And expect Him to deposit His grace in the place where you have been gracious to others! 

Are you focused on the new things God has in store for you in 2017 or are you mired in pain and heartache of a past event?

For a joyous 2017, FOCUS - FACTOR - FOCUS!

December 31, 2016

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

If you want to make the New Year new you have today to make that happen!

"But Brad, how can I move on past my past in one day when I have been stuck here for years?" you may be thinking.

How to do that is the subject of the articles I have been posting all week. Here are the steps I have shared thus far, including today's fourth step.

1. Make the decision to let it go.

2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.

3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.

4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.

5. Forgive them — and yourself.

We may not have to forget another person’s bad behaviors, but virtually everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. But forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”

Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s simply saying, “I need forgiveness. God forgave me . Other people have forgiven me. I must forgive others. You did something that hurt me. But I want to move forward in my life and welcome joy back into it. I can’t do that fully until I let this go.”

Forgiveness is a way of tangibly letting something go. It’s also a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view. Make an attempt to understand them. Remember they are fallible as you are. You sometimes you hurt others, most unintentionally but sometimes on purpose. As you humanize the other person it gives you some perspective.

And forgiving yourself may be an important part of this step as well, as sometimes we may end up blaming ourselves for the situation or hurt. While we indeed may have had some part to play in the hurt (see step 2), there’s no reason you need to keep beating yourself up over it. If you can’t forgive yourself, how will you be able to live in future peace and happiness? Learn from your failures and live better yourself!

I know this stuff is hard, that it’s incredibly hard to let go of one’s pain. If we’ve held onto it for a long time, it feels like an old friend. Justified. It would be sacrilegious to let it go.

But nobody’s life should be defined by their pain. It’s not healthy, it adds to our stress, it hurts our ability to focus, study and work, and it impacts every other relationship we have (even the ones not directly affected by the hurt). Every day you choose to hold on to the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision. And feel its consequences.

So do everybody — and yourself — a big favor: Let go of the pain. Do something different today and welcome happiness back into your life. Let the New Year be new!

Make The New Year New

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

If you want to make the New Year new you have today and tomorrow to make that happen!

"But Brad, how can I move on past my past in two days when I have been stuck here for two years?" you may be thinking.

How to do that is the subject of the articles I have been posting all week. Here are the steps I have shared thus far, including today's fourth step.

1. Make the decision to let it go.

2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.

3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.

4. Focus on the present — the here and now — and joy.

Now it’s time to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where the protagonist — you — is forever the victim of this other person’s horrible actions. You can’t undo the past, all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Some people find it easier to do this with a conscious cue, such as saying to yourself, “It’s alright. That was the past, and now I’m focused on my own happiness and doing _______________.”

Remember, if we crowd our brains, our hearts — and our lives — with hurt feelings, there’s little room for anything positive. It’s a choice you’re making to continue to feel the hurt, rather than welcoming God's joy into your life.

If you were to get into your car and head onto I-95 at expressway speeds would you want to be looking out your windshield or staring at your rear-view mirror?

Of course you would be staring intently through your windshield with only an occasional glance at the rear-view mirror. So, if you wouldn't drive your car that way why would you live your life looking forward rather than behind?

December 29, 2016

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am going a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

With the rapidly approaching New Year's Day it is important to be sure you are able to make the New Year new. You cannot move into the future while you are stuck in the pass.

Your past is not past until you leave it behind.

So, how does that happen?

How do I get past my past and leave it in the past?

This week I am sharing five steps for leaving the past in the past and moving into a preferable future! Today I will share the third of those five steps:

1. Make the decision to let it go.

2. Express your pain - and your responsibility

3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.

The easiest thing in the world to do is blame others. That's how people who see themselves as victims respond to life.

To be perfectly honest, being the victim feels good — it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The world largely doesn’t care, so you need to get over yourself. Yes, you’re special. Yes, your feelings matter. But don’t confuse with “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters.” Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all interwoven and complex. And messy.

At any given moment in your life, you have that choice — to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good. You alone are responsible for your own happiness and when you choose to take that responsibility you begin feeling empowered.

When you are content to play the victim card that you believe life dealt you then you are choosing to play a losing hand. You are also giving power to those who you think dealt you the card and in so doing giving them control over your life. Why put that sort of power in the hands of someone else? Why would you let the person who hurt you in the past have such power, right here, right now? It the feeling of power you get from playing the victim worth the sense of powerlessness that comes with it?

Isaiah's counsel is solid, "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past." More than likely the person or persons who caused you this pain have moved on with their lives, why should you remain mired in the past?

New Year's Day is a great time to try something new! Why not move out of the past and into the present so God can provide you a better future?

5 Steps to Letting Go of Past Pain

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

We’ve all been hurt. You've been hurt, I've been hurt, you've hurt others and so have I.  You can’t find an adult — or teen — alive today who hasn’t experienced some kind of emotional pain.

It hurts. We know that. We get that. Because it hurts it's hard to forget the pain.

But what you do with that pain is probably more important than the hurt itself. You might prefer to hold a grudge or try to get even or hope something bad happens to them. 

However, as a believer and Christ-follower you are called to the future not the past. As Isaiah reminds you, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!

So, in short, how do you let go of past hurts and move on? 

Blaming others for our hurt is our default setting. Somebody did something wrong, or they wronged us in some way that mattered to us. We want them to apologize. We want them to feel sorry for what they did to us. We want them to acknowledge what they did was wrong. 

But blaming someone else for our hurt can backfire, as Holly Brown notes:

"The problem with blaming others is that it can often leave you powerless. For example, you confront the person (your boss, your spouse, your parent, your child), and they say, “No, I didn’t,” or worse, “So what if I did?”, then you’re left with all this anger and hurt and no resolution."

"All your feelings are legitimate. It’s important to feel them fully, and then move on. Nursing your grievances indefinitely is a bad habit, because (as the title goes) it hurts you more than it hurts them." 

People who hold on to these past hurts often relive the pain over and over in their minds. Sometimes a person can even get “stuck” in this pain, in this hurt, in this blame."

In this post I want to share the second of five steps to letting go of past pain and moving on:

1. Make the decision to let it go.

2. Express your pain — and your responsibility.

There are three parts of this process. First, don't deny the pain. It is real and it must be dealt with. 

Second, you declare the pain and how the hurt made you feel, whether it’s directly to the other person, or through just getting it out of your system (like venting to a friend, or writing in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person). 

Third, define the pain. Get it all out of your system at once. Doing so will also help you understand what — specifically — your hurt is about.

The world is complicated and relationships are complicated and emotions are, too. While you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the pain you experienced, there may have been a part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. What could you have done differently? Will you do it differently next time? Will you be an active participant in your own life, or simply a hopeless victim? Will you let your pain become your identity or will you trust God to help you turn your pain into gain? 

According to Isaiah, the path to your spiritual progress will run through your past pain.

December 27, 2016

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

As you prepare to begin 2017 would you rather be looking at life through the windshield or through the rear view mirror?

What if God has something new and better He might want to give you this coming year?

What if you aren't able to realize the good thing He wants to do or you aren't able to receive it because you are hung up in the past?

How much of God's grace have you already missed because you are nursing a grudge?

Can the New Year really be new if you are holding onto and living in the past?

Isaiah wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, 

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."

"How do I do that?" you ask.

Over the next few days I want to offer five keys to putting your past in the past.

First, you decide to let it go.

Sounds easy enough doesn't it?

Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt.

Making the decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. To stop reliving the past pain, to stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person.

Human nature is to nurse our pain and rehearse the hurt and curse the culprit who hurt us. But God says you can choose not to do that. His Word says He has chosen to forgive you and He can give you grace to forgive others.

Once, when His disciples asked Jesus how many times they were to forgive those who hurt them He replied, "Seventy times seven" He wasn't giving them a number He was telling them to decide once to forgive every time .

Forgiving and giving grace to one who hurts you is a decision, a choice. But so is holding a grudge. If you are able to choose one you are able to choose either. But giving grace frees you to receive the new thing God has for you!

Decide to give grace and not hold a grudge as we enter the New Year.

December 26, 2016

"But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people." John 2:10

Over the past several days I have been focusing on the announcement made by the angels to the shepherds that holy night. What was this "good news of great joy"? Why don't we see more joy in the church among believers?

We have recognized there should be joy in the presence of God and joy in the pardon from God and because of the peace of God though Christ. Also, you can find joy in the power of God. Christmas was impossible but impossible things happened so Jesus could be born!

How about another reason for joy?

You can take joy in the promises of God! In the events leading up to and culminating in the birth of Jesus there were 360 prophecies fulfilled. That means that 360 things that God predicted in advance were going to happen happened! And they happened exactly as they were foretold!

That incredible fact proves that God had His fingerprints all over the events that led up to the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! And the accuracy of these predictions should give us joy in knowing that the promises of God are true and reliable!

Whatever His Word promises He will do!

There is no one else you know and love who could keep his promises 100% of the time! Every person over promises and under delivers. BUT NOT GOD!

If you are facing a difficult circumstance right now and you desperately need Him to be Who His Word says He is - rejoice! Jesus is everything He promises He is and He can do and possibly has already done what ever He says. What He can do is posted in His Word. Read it, memorize it and claim it!

Find joy in praising Him that He will do what He promises to do! 

Christmas proves it!