October 8, 2015

“Then the LORD said to Moses, "See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts--  to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze,  to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of craftsmanship. Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given skill to all the craftsmen to make everything I have commanded you:  the Tent of Meeting, the ark of the Testimony with the atonement cover on it, and all the other furnishings of the tent-- the table and its articles, the pure gold lampstand and all its accessories, the altar of incense, the altar of burnt offering and all its utensils, the basin with its stand--  and also the woven garments, both the sacred garments for Aaron the priest and the garments for his sons when they serve as priests, and the anointing oil and fragrant incense for the Holy Place. They are to make them just as I commanded you." Exodus 31:1-6

“Thar’s gold in them there kids!”

Which kids?

Bezalel, son of Uri, and Oholiab, son of Ahisamach – and yours, to name a few!

God puts gold in our kids and calls parents to help them discover it, develop it and invest in a life of serving God. God desires parents to help Him stake a claim in the life of your kid so together you can mine and refine the gold He deposited in them.

In yesterday’s post I shared several ways to assist your kid in the discovery of their gifts, talents, interests, aptitudes, and passion.

Today I would like to share several ideas to help develop those skills and interests once they are identified.

Once gold is mined it must be refined. There are two errors to avoid as you seek to assist the development of your kid’s abilities:

1) Avoid Training Without Gifting

One of the dangers of parenting is pushing your dream upon your kid. If you attempt to push him into a career that he isn’t gifted or talented to do it can be a well-intentioned but frustrating effort for you AND your kid. Not one of my three kids took a path I would have chosen for them but all three are pursuing careers that they enjoy and are enjoying success. Chances are, yours won’t either.

Here is a humorous illustration of what I mean:

https://youtu.be/mtxPu7B-9TI

That was awkward wasn’t it? Don’t try to train your kid into something he is not designed or wired to do.

2) Avoid Gifting Without Training

This is the equivalent of a miner discovering the mother lode of gold and realizing he never learned how to dig. It is a great blessing for a kid to discover his passion and talents but passion and talent alone are not enough. As a parent your duty is to urge, motivate or even push your kid to get education, professional training and practical experience to sharpen his skills.

Here is a suggested pattern employing the ball diamond:

Home Plate – Ask God, “What am I good at?”

First Base – Ask God, “What am I not good at?”

Second Base – Ask God, “Who should I trust to help me?’

Third Base – Ask God and Mentor, “How do I get better?”

God has deposited some gold in your kid! With your guidance and wisdom he should be “good as gold” when he gets to third base!

October 7, 2015

“Then the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills— to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of crafts. Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you:” Exodus 31:1-6

God put it in the heart of His people to build a Tabernacle for the worship and glory of Jehovah. This would be a large and elaborate project. Many builders and craftsmen would be required to complete this magnificent wilderness worship place. That is made clear in this portion of Scripture.

But what this Scripture also makes clear is the exciting truth that when God planted the vision in the hearts of His people He also put within them the various skills and abilities that would be required to complete the job!

As a pastor it is inspiring to know that if God has called you to a task it is proof that He has also enabled you to accomplish it! This is timely for FredWes as we get ready to move into a major relocation project.

As a parent it should be encouraging to know God has placed within your child every talent, gift, ability, aptitude, and interest he will need to accomplish the will of God for his life. Aren’t you blessed by that knowledge?

God put all the good stuff in your kid but it is the parent’s responsibility to help his kid discover it, develop it and do what God has called Him to do. To make it personal you could say your kid is a gold mine of potential and you are the miner who is to dig it out of him. So, think of your kid as a gold mine and you are the miner. Mining, like parenting, can be tough, tedious, and tiring work. Some days you find a nugget or two and many days you don’t. But you keep digging because you know the gold is in there.

One of the nuggets you want to discover is what your kid is good at. Once you know that you know where to keep digging! As you dig, look for:

Is he an extrovert or an introvert?

Is he athletic or non-athletic?

Is he a plan first person or an in the moment person?

Is he people-oriented or project oriented?

Is he an aggressive type or a laid back type?

Is he an academic or less academic?

If he fact-oriented or go with the gut?

Is he a give me a book type or a give me the movie type?

Is he a high energy person or a lower energy person?

What are his favorite subjects in school?

What are his hobbies or past-times?

Asking these questions will help lead you to the gold!

But the first thing I recommend you do is help your kid stake his claim in Christ! Someone or something will stake a claim on your kid, so make sure it is you and make sure it’s Christ!

October 6, 2015

“Then the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills— to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze,  to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of crafts. Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded you:” Exodus 31:1-6

This portion of Scripture sounds obscure at first glance. What does this have to do with Raising Home Run Kids?

Actually, quite a bit! God had used Moses to lead God’s people out of bondage and slavery in Egypt. Now they were preparing to build the Tabernacle and it would be a huge project. To accomplish this sacred assignment would require many skilled craftsmen. Where would they find all these artisans in the middle of a remote desert?

What God is heard telling Moses that He had already given them every skilled worker they would need to build this elaborate sanctuary for the worship and glorification of God! He even goes so far as to tell Moses that He has given them ALL the craftsmen and skilled and contractors they would need to fulfill the vision He had shared with them.

That’s significant on several levels!

First, we can take encouragement from this Scripture that God has given FredWes everything we need to reach the next season of growth and ministry He is calling us to!

Second, He has placed everything in you and around you to become what He desires you to be!

And third, God has put all the right stuff in your kid to develop into him/her for the destiny He plans for them. You could say God has a large gold deposit inside every kid and the job of parents is to discover it and mine it out!

Above is the crew God gave me. I am very blessed!

God put a lot of good stuff in them and I have been able to dig some of it out. They are still works in progress! God isn’t finished with them nor am I. But, as a proud and thankful Dad I can say, “So far, so good!”

Sunday I will do some teaching on Third Base in the Home Run Life. I look forward to sharing with you three practical ideas for raising competent kids.

As the old prospector used to say, “There’s gold in them there hills!” God says, “There’s gold in them there kids!”

Each kid is a treasure! Make sure you treasure them today!

October 5, 2015

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."   Psalm 51:1-10

How many times can I disappoint God by my sins, especially the besetting sins or those who just keep committing the same sin over and over? Will there be point and time when God will say, "That's it! You're done! No more mercy or grace for you!"?

Face it, with every other relationship there is a point where one more disappointment is the deal-breaker and that person will bail out on you. They either end the relationship or withdraw emotionally from you. That hurts so much that it can cause you to be guarded and cautious in all relationships. The fear of losing a relationship and being rejected should we disappoint them one more time can be almost paralyzing. It can put tremendous pressure on all of your relationships and create insecurity.

Perhaps David feared he had disappointed God so much that there would be no redemption for him. He obviously was plagued by guilt and remorse. In out to God, David asks for 3 things to happen?

Transgressions blotted out – "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions." THIS IS THE ACT ITSELF – “Please Lord, forget I ever did what I did, blot it out so it can never be seen again!”

Iniquity washed – "Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place."  THIS IS THE GUILT IT BRINGS – Guilt is the leftover stuff, the anger we have at our self, what we cannot forgive about what we did, the punishment that I am putting on myself, I cannot forgive me.

Sin cleansed – "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." THE ONE WHO DID IT – The stuff in me that causes me to do these things, I want this cleansed, I don’t want to be that person.

David sinned terribly and disappointed His God and himself. This prayer of three-fold contrition restored him to fellowship with God and helped him work through his guilt and disappointment with himself.

If you fear you have disappointed God and wonder if you can be forgiven and restored, read Psalm 51 several times humbly and prayerfully. Then pray that Psalm sincerely to God. See if God's grace will meet you as it did King David.

October 4, 2015

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12

When you are on second base you are halfway home! 

Second base is the relationship base. When you learn to do relationships well you are well on your way to a successful and satisfying life.

If you want to life the Home Run Life and if you want to Raise Home Run Kids learning second base is essential.

In a recent post I pointed out that showing respect is a big part of winning at second base. That is consistent with the Golden Rule. You want to be respected so you should show respect to others.

Also, showing compassion is a relationship building block.

A third crucial component of winning at second base is learning to make good friends.

Charlies "Tremendous" Jones said, "In five years you will be the same person you are today except for the books you read and the people you meet."

Teach your kids about the circles of friendship. There must be a big circle and a small circle. The big circle can include many of the friends you enjoy spending time with. The little circle is far more selective. You want to be very careful who you allow to get close to you. Pastor Kevin Meyers suggests three qualities of a person you should allow into your small circle.

1) You want people who do what they say.

It's hard to get close to people who don't keep their word. You can't trust a person who doesn't follow through on his promises.

2) You want people who can give and take.

I had a room mate once who often gave me gifts or did favors but wouldn't let me do nice for him in return. While he meant well I found it frustrating that my attempts to return his kindness where refused.

It is blessed to give but refusing to receive the gift can rob the blessing from the giver.

3) You want people who can forgive and get better.

Have you ever asked someone to forgive you and they said they would but you sense that the relationship is different. You want to believe them but the silent strain in the relationship gives you the feeling they didn't get over it.

You need people in your life who accept your apology and the work to restore the relationship to where it was. That is a rare person and when you find him you want him in your life. You want people like that in your kid's life, too.

Make as many casual friends as you can. Those are big circle friendships. But be very careful who you let into the small circle.

Second base is the relationship base but the quality of your relationships at second will be determined by your connection at home and the character development that is happening at first base.

October 3,2015

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:7-12

Showing respect is an essential component of living by the Golden Rule by virtue of the fact everyone wants to be respected so they must show respect toward others.

Raising Home Run Kids demands teaching them how to show respect to other people.

Showing respect is a second base issue.

A second component of the Golden Rule is showing compassion. Showing compassion involves doing intentional acts of kindness. That just happens to be a key component of our outreach efforts at FredWes.

Let me share a couple of real good reasons why compassion is essential in the Home Run Life.

The first good reason is Jesus showed compassion. What Jesus did better than anyone else was embrace people without embracing their values. We used to call it loving the sinner but hating the sin. It is very effective if you can do it. Jesus could do it!

One example is the woman taken in adultery. He rescued her from her accusers and he forgave her but made it clear to her she would have to change her ways. All the evidence indicates she did.

And then there was the woman at the well. She had a sordid past and a complicated life. She possessed a thirst nothing could satisfy. Jesus befriended her and made her a better offer. She could turn from her sin and He would give her water that would satisfy her thirst forever. She did and He did. She changed and changed her city.

Jesus knew how to show compassion. He calls you to do it, too.

The second good reason for showing compassion is because you need compassion. Again, the Golden Rule reminds us that we do for others as we want for ourselves.

In a world largely devoid of faith and confused about morals, kindness still translates into compassion. Loving people to life is an effective way to touch people with faith.

Showing compassion is a second base issue but it won’t happen unless you are connected at home and winning at first.

October 2, 2015

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.  “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:7-12

This kid obviously needs some help at second base. So do your kids!

Here are some practical fundamentals for winning at second and living out the Golden Rule.

1) Value Others

2) Show Compassion

3) Make Good Friends

Today I will deal with the first fundamental.

Home Run Kids know how to value others! It is much easier for your kids to value others when he is connected with God at Home Plate. Learning to respect God helps a Home Run Kid find self-respect and self-respect leads to respecting others. If a Home Run Kid respects God he will value what God values and the Bible is clear that God values people.

To Raise A Home Run Kid a parent must model respect for God, for his spouse, for his child and for others. Like many values respect is caught more than it is taught.

A Home Run Kid must not be allowed to be disrespectful toward others in either his attitudes or his actions. He must be taught to respect his parents, his family, and those in authority especially. Disrespect must be confronted with stern correction.

The Golden Rule says, “Respect others as you want to be respected”.

A Home Run Kid should not be allowed to speak disrespectfully. Words matter! Words mean things. Words cannot be taken back once they are spoken. Name calling should be prohibited and punished. Profanity must be forbidden. There is an old saying that goes, “What you say is what you are.” True!

The Golden Rule says, “Speak only words you would want to hear.”

A Home Run Kid must be taught to show respect in his actions. And when he acts disrespectfully he must be taught to make it right.

The Golden Rule says, “Show respect as you want to be shown respect.”

Second base in baseball is called “scoring position”. Once you get there your chances of making it back to Home Plate for the score go up significantly. In the Home Run Life it is very important to for Home Run Kids to know how to get to second and what to do once they get there!