“HEATING UP YOUR HOME LIFE”
WEEK FOUR – “Confronting Love Leaks” II Corinthians 10:4-5
WEEK FOUR – “Confronting Love Leaks” II Corinthians 10:4-5
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." II Corinthians 10:4-5
Growing up in a cold weather climate I learned the hard way that heat escapes through your head. If you cover your head with a stocking cap and keep your head warm your whole body will stay warmer. But I was too vain to where a cap so I stayed cold in order to look cool.
JUST AS HEAT ESCAPES THROUGH THE HEAD, THE WARMTH OF LOVE AND ROMANCE CAN LEAK BY WAY OF THE MIND WHEN YOU GET CARELESS IN YOUR THOUGHT LIFE.
Do you have some love leaks in your life? Are there careless thought patterns that are allowing the love and romance to leak out of your life? I want to talk about that this morning as we continue our 40-Day Focus on “Heating Up Your Home Life”. God created you and wired you to need an intimate spiritual relationship with Him and an intimate personal emotional and sexual relationship with a spouse. And He wired you so that the sexiest part of your body is your mind. Your ability to enjoy fulfilling intimate relationships with God and with your spouse is largely dependent on how successful you are in controlling your thoughts,
Turn In Your Bible To II Corinthians 10:4-5
WHAT ARE LOVE LEAKS?
ATTITUDES – HOW YOU THINK
Self-Centeredness – Me First! My Needs Matter Most!
Resentment - You Are Not Meeting My Needs/Expectations!
Anger – You Hurt Me And I Will Get Even!
Unforgiveness – I Can’t Get Over What You’ve Done To Me!
Negativity – Constantly Focusing On What’s Wrong With Them
AFFECTIONS – WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT
ADDICTIONS – WHAT CONTROLS MY THOUGHTS
Stats About The Power Of Pornography:
Revenue Generated By Pornography Worldwide – (2006 Statistics) - $97 Bil.
Average Number Of Monthly Visits To Adult Websites Worldwide – 72 Million
Percentage Of Men 18-34 Who Visit A Porn Website Monthly – 70%
Percentage Of Internet Porn Involving Children – 20%
Divorces In Which Excessive Internet Pornography Was A Factor – 50%+
Percentage Of Families Who Say Pornography Is A Factor In Their Home – 47%
Average Ages Of First Exposure To Pornography – 11 Years Old
Percentage Of Children Aged 8 To 16 Who Have Viewed Pornography Online – 90%
The most used websites on the net are pornography websites.
Talk About How I Realized Porn Is A Problem:
Pastors Who Confided In Me……
One Of My First Ministerial Meetings In Princeton…..
Personal Knowledge Of The Power Of Its Temptation…..
HOW DO THESE LEAKS HAPPEN?
Casualness – “It’s Not That Bad, I Can Handle It”
Here's the testimony of someone who thought he could handle it....
“Not everyone who sees porn will become addicted to it. Some will just come away with toxic ideas about women, sex, marriage and children. That kind of damage is bad enough. And porn isn't the only ingredient in addiction. Usually, those who become addicted have some kind of emotional opening that allows the addiction to really take root. The porn companies don't mind at all if you become completely addicted to their product. It's great for business. An addicted customer keeps coming back for more. You don't have to shoot up any drug with a needle to get addicted to porn — your body will make its own drugs just by looking at the pictures. Dr. Victor Cline says that sex and pornography can be a more difficult addiction to break than cocaine”.
Five Stages of Addiction
1.Early exposure. Most guys who get addicted to porn start early. They see the stuff when they are very young, and it gets its foot in the door.
2.Addiction. Later comes addiction. You keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You're hooked. You can't quit.
3.Escalation. After a while, escalation begins. You start to look for more and more graphic porn. You start liking porn that would have disgusted you when you started.
4.Desensitization. Eventually, you start to become numb. Even the most graphic, degrading porn doesn't excite you anymore. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again but can't find it.
5.Acting out sexually. At this point, many men make a dangerous jump and start acting out sexually. They move from fantasy images of porn to the real world.
“When I personally got to the "acting out phase," I started fantasizing about what it would be like to actually rape a woman. I finally tried it one night when I saw a woman who "fit" the scenario that porn had taught me to look for. I was lucky. Very lucky. I didn't go through with it. After being reported, arrested and spending some time in jail, I finally was able to begin the process of weeding out the lies in my life that porn had put there.”
Carelessness – “I Deserve It Because My Needs Are Not Being Met”
Pornography communicates its own "truths" about women. Unfortunately, they're all lies:
1.Lie: Women are less than human. The women in Playboy magazine are called "bunnies," making them cute little animals or "playmates," making them a toy. Porn often refers to women as animals, playthings, or body parts. The idea that women are real human beings with thoughts and emotions is played down.
2. Lie: Women are a "sport." Some sports magazines have a swimsuit issue. This suggests that women are just some kind of sport. Porn views sex as a game and in a game: You have to win, conquer or score.
3. Lie: Women are property. It's common to see pictures of the slick car with the sexy girl draped over it. The unspoken message is, "Buy one, and you get them both." Hard-core porn carries this even further. It displays women like merchandise in a catalogue, exposing them as openly as possible for the customer to look at. It's not surprising that many young men think that if they have spent some money taking a girl out, they have a right to have sex with her. Porn tells us that women can be bought.
4. Lie: A woman's value depends on the attractiveness of her body. Overweight or less attractive women are ridiculed in porn. They are called dogs, whales, pigs or worse, simply because they don't fit into porn's criteria of the perfect woman. Porn doesn’t care about a woman's mind or personality, only her body.
5. Lie: Women like rape. "When she says no, she means yes" is a typical porn scenario. Porn teaches men to enjoy hurting and abusing women for entertainment.
Callousness – “It Makes Me Feel Good And That’s All That Matters”
HOW DO WE CLOSE LOVE LEAKS?
Confront It – I Have A Problem And It Has Control Over Me
“When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:13-15
Confess It – I Have Sinned Against God And My Spouse And I Am Sorry
“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:8-9
Commit It – In God’s Strength I Will Overcome This
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psa. 119:9-11
Correct It – I Will Change My Thinking And My Behavior
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
www.netnanny.com - $30/yr.
www.christianinternetfiltering.net - $4.50/month
www.safefamilies.org - Free
www.wisechoice.net - $50/yr. Cannot Be Bypassed
SafeEyes – creates internet logs, and can call or email spouse to alert them to your activity – available for pc/mac/mobile phone – www.internetsafety.com - $50/yr.
A Couple Of Websites To Help With Accountability:
www.menofintegrity.com xxxchurch.com www.covenanteyes.com
“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” II Corinthians 10:4-5
“I made a covenant with my eyes to never look at a girl lustfully” Job 31;1
WILL I LET MY EYES GUIDE MY THOUGHTS OR WILL I SURRENDER TO GOD AND MAKE MY THOUGHTS CONTROL WHAT I SEE?
I REALIZE MY DESIRE FOR MORE INTIMACY IN MY MARRIAGE
I RECOGNIZE LOVE LEAKS IN MY LIFE ARE KEEPING ME FROM INTIMACY
I RENOUNCE LOVE LEAKS IN MY LIFE
I REPENT OF THOSE LOVE LEAKS IN MY LIFE
I WILL REPAIR THEM BY CHANGING THIS BEHAVIOR TODAY: