"They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest." Mark 9:33-34
Okay, I was wrong.
I said in yesterday's post I had one more point to make on the "You to Me" selfishness topic. This WILL be my final comment regarding this important soulshift.
During a conversation I had today I thought about another very subtle form of selfishness that might not be recognized as such. Jesus addressed it with His disciples. It didn't slide past Him.
"What are you talking about, PB?"
I am talking about allowing selfishness in an attempt to be selfless.
Here is how it works.
While Jesus most selfless Person Who ever lived. In fact, in this text we see Him trying to reveal to them the very selfless act of sacrifice He was soon to suffer. Ironlically, as He did so His disciples were arguing over who would be the greatest among them.
Jesus could have reasoned, "Well, after all I was talking about myself so how can I get after them for being worried about themselves." Or He could have just pretended not to hear their conversation, but He didn't! He confronted them with their self-centeredness because He loved them too much to let them get away with selfishness.
For you or me it usually works like this. We have a spouse or a child or a teen-ager or a child who is being selfish. You know he is acting selfishly and is taking advantage of your gentleness. In your heart you know it isn't right and you feel disrespected but you know if you confront them or call them on their selfishness it could get tense. So, wanting to avoid a conflict you choose not to confront the selfish behavior. Instead, you bear the brunt of their selfish behavior and they go unchallenged.
While you convince yourself that you are being selfless you are in fact being selfish!
You are being selfish because your reason for not confronting their selfish behavior is more about your comfort level and not about what is best for them. Your pseudo-selflessness is doubly harmful because it not only hurts you it enables their selfishness.
Are you enabling others to be selfish because you are too selfish to challenge them?